Why Young Couples Don’t Want To Have Children?
Apparently, I found myself asking this question very often by now. I am perfectly out of age, and so are my friends. The vast majority of them are successful, wealthy, healthy and adult enough to handle serious commitment. Most of them have been in a relationship with their significant others for quite a while. They move in, go to vacation together, make plans and have dreams. They have common real estate, common vehicles and common insurance plans. The only common thing they don’t plan to have is kids. And I keep asking myself why it happens. Coupling is all about reproduction, isn’t it? So, I asked some of my friends to share their ideas on this issue, and that’s what they said:
1.”I’m not ready”
Basically, a kid is a project, probably, the most significant one in your life. Fulfilling any project requires thorough preparation and learning. “I don’t know life. I don’t know people. I have no idea how to deal with difficult situations. I don’t know whether God exists or not. How on Earth can I share my knowledge to my child if I actually don’t know anything?” Indeed, many parents take it too serious I think. A lot of 17-18-year-olds have kids and manage to grow them smart and intelligent.
2. “I’m a kid myself”
Seriously, it’s Peter Pan’s syndrome, not HIV or cancer that we should call a plague of 21st century. On the one hand, only an adult person can love kids. If you don’t feel you are mature enough, you’d better remain childless. On the other hand, it sounds as an excuse. You are 30 years old, and the fact that you still play Xbox and hit a pinata with your grown-up friends doesn’t mean your parental instincts won’t help you grow your children.
3. “I don’t see my partner as a parent of my child”
Indeed, how many couples you know? And how many of them seem like soul mates? He point is people live with each other for various reasons: passion, comfort, killing loneliness, financial stability, habit… But sharing living space and sharing genes are not the same things. So, if you want to find out what your partner’s real feelings are, ask him/her that kids question 😉
4. “I’m not ready to sacrifice the joys of life”
This is probably the most honest answer. However terrible it may sound, life in 21st century offers lots of joys and pleasures. The idea of spending life in hedonistic nebula appears to be attractive for the vast majority of people. Having kids means refusing to all these parties, careers, trips and adventures.
After this quick quiz, I’ve started thinking: “What is the best time to have kids?” And you know what? I came up to the idea that it’s never a good time for that. There is always something that stops you. Not enough money, poor dwelling conditions, the necessity to succeed with your career… It seems to me that a baby is something that should just happen to you sooner or later. And you’ll doubtlessly handle it!